


Some Hearts Never Heal, Never Move On

by BewilderedSjipper



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Past Relationships, a lot of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-07 13:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3175038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BewilderedSjipper/pseuds/BewilderedSjipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I- the truth is too painful. You can if you want, I- just give me a heads up so I’m prepared.”</p><p>We pretend not to notice the other’s glossy eyes. Trott walks in and immediately stops.</p><p>“What’s going on?”</p><p>“Have you ever been blind sided Trott?” I look at Ross, opening my mouth to say something. “Because I have.”</p><p>Trott invites a childhood friend over with the intent of setting him up with his roommate. Little does he know, his friend and roommate already know each other...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I pull my phone out, making sure I have the right apartment before knocking. The person who opens the door is a person I didn’t think I was ever going to see again. A person I haven’t seen in years, the last time us parting on not good terms.

“Are you Chris Trott’s roommate?” I know I have the right room but cling to the hope this is the wrong room.

“Yea, Trott should be here soon. Come in,” I step past Ross, entering the small apartment.

He leads me into the living room, sitting on the couch Ross had back when we were together. I sit in a chair opposite him, looking anywhere but at him.

“Long time no see,” I look at him but quickly look away.

“Two years,” I nod in agreement. “Good to see you again, Ross.”

“You too,” He’s quiet for a minute. “Have you found anyone yet?”

“You were the only one,” I say quietly. Ross gets up and leaves the room. I can tell he is upset by the way he shields his body from my line of sight.

Another message from Trott shows he will be here in a few minutes so I sit in the chair, reminiscing about when Ross and I were together.

Something makes me stand up, and I find myself walking down the short hallway to one of the closed doors. Peeking into Trott’s slightly messy room and the clean bathroom, I knock on the remaining door.

“Ross,” I knock again, slowly opening the door. The room is in disarray, clothes and various wrappers and take out boxes scatter the room.

Ross sits on the edge of the bed, his face in his hands. “Trott going to be here soon?”

“He should be here in a few. I wanted to make sure you were okay. You left in a bit of a hurry.”

“Yea, I’m fine. There’s just been a lot on my mind lately. I can come sit out there with you, if you want.”

I smile faintly to myself, leaning against the doorframe. “I understand if you want to be alone. I’m sorry,” I want to say for what, but that is a wound that still isn’t healed.

“It’s-”

“Not fine, I know,” I turn away, moving so I can no longer see Ross. “Just know, there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret breaking up with you.”

I walk back into the living room, getting comfortable in the chair as I hear the front door creak open. “Smith?”  
“I’m in the living room,” I call out to my friend. Trott comes into the room, smiling and sitting down on the couch.

“Hey, thanks for waiting. Ross just leave you here?” He looks at the door.

“No, he left as soon as you came in. He seems nice.”

“I could try and set you two up-”

“No!” I try laughing off my sudden outburst. “Uh, I’m not really looking for anyone right now, but thanks.”

Trott frowns, but doesn’t say anything. “Alright, well, do you want to get started?”

A few hours later the project is nearly complete, and we decide to order pizza to celebrate. “Can you go see if Ross wants pizza while I finish this up?”

I nod, despite my gut telling me to sit back down and make Trott go ask. The closer I get to Ross’ room, the more flips my stomach does and I think about going back and telling Trott what really happened between Ross and I.

I knock on the door to his room, hoping that while we were working Ross was some how swallowed up by his bed and I won’t have to ask him if he wants pizza.

“Yea?” I run a hand through my mess of hair, opening my mouth to reply when the door opens. Ross immediately drops his gaze.

“We’re ordering pizza,” I say quietly, looking back toward the kitchen.

“Alright, I’ll be out in a few,” He turns and shuts the door, leaving me like I left him.

I turn and quickly walk away, trying to focus on the present. “Ross want anything?”

I enter the kitchen and find Trott with the phone pressed up against his ear. “Uh, yea. He wants a four meat with italian sausage instead of regular.”

While Trott orders, I stand there, realizing Ross never actually told me what he wanted. “Why do they call it Italian sausage? What makes it italian?” “It’s just a spicey-er sausage. It’s so much better than regular, trust me. I can’t believe you’ve never had it before, you have to try it.” “Are you asking me to eat your sausage, mate?”

“Smith!” I blink, realizing Trott’s been trying to talk to me.

“Yea mate, I heard you,” I frown, looking at the floor.

He walks past me and out the front door, leaving me alone in the kitchen with my thoughts. “Smith?” I turn around and jump, finding Ross quite close to me. “Sorry,” He mutters, taking a step back.

“S’fine,” I look at him, memories of when we were together coming back and hitting me like a wall of bricks.

“Where’s Trott?”

I blink a few times, trying to stop the flood of memories. “M’not sure. Went to get the pizza?”

“What did we get?”

“I don’t know what Trott got, but you got a four meat-”

“Italian sausage,” We say in sync, looking at each other with wide eyes.

I am the first to look away, muttering “I never forgot.”

We sit in silence until Trott comes in with two large pizzas.

“Thanks for waiting for me, Trott,” Ross says, grabbing us plates. “I come out here and you are gone.”

“Smith told me what you wanted, blame him if it’s wrong.”

“Why me? I wasn’t expecting you to be on the phone the moment I came back. You’re lucky I know what Ross eats on his pizza, mate.”

Trott looks at us, questioning. “We used to be, uh,” Ross looks to me for help.

“Friends?” It comes out as a question, and I look at Trott and smile.

“Close friends,” Ross nods, staring at me. I look away, seeing the confused look on Trott’s face.

“We, uh, kind of had a falling out a few years ago. Ross can talk to you about it later if he wants,” I take the plate Ross is holding out to me. “I’m hungry, let’s eat.”

I open one of the boxes and take a slice of pizza, thankful Trott follows my direction and leads me into the living room. Ross stands in the doorway of the living room, staring off into space.

It doesn’t take long for me to finish my one slice of pizza, the creaking of the couch stirring Ross. He steps back out of my way, following me back into the kitchen.

“You know he’s going to want to know what happened.”

I set my plate down and lean against the counter. “I know. Do you think we should tell him the truth?”

“I- the truth is too painful. You can if you want, I- just give me a heads up so I’m prepared.”

We pretend not to notice the other’s glossy eyes. Trott walks in and immediately stops.

“What’s going on?”

“Have you ever been blind sided Trott?” I look at Ross, opening my mouth to say something. “Because I have.”

“Ross-”

“Sometimes people do things for reasons that we will never know, and I’ve accepted that.”  
“Ross-” I step toward him, but he shakes his head and leaves the kitchen. I turn to look at Trott. “I should probably go now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I walk to the front door, tears blurring my vision. Trott calls out to me, but I ignore him, running down two flights of stairs.

When I make it back to my small apartment, I go to turn my phone off because I don’t want to deal with the world, but a message from an unknown number that turns out to be Ross stops me.

I’m outside your apartment, let me in

I look through the peephole to find Ross standing outside. Opening the door I step to the side to let Ross in. He doesn’t say anything, wrapping his arms around me as sobs wrack his body.

My arms instinctively go around him, tears streaming down my face. I use my foot to nudge the door shut, Ross jumping when it clicks.

“No,” He yells, gripping me tighter. “You can’t leave me.”

“No,” I agree. “Never again.”


	2. Two

We stand in each other’s arms for what seems like mere seconds, but the clock says otherwise when we finally let go. Ross immediately latches on to my hand though, holding it as tightly as he can.   
I lead us through the dirty kitchen into the living room, trying to get him to let go of me and sit on the couch. “Does Trott know where you went? I should give him a call,” I feel my pockets, searching for my phone.   
I start for the kitchen, figuring I left it in there, when Ross tugs me back. “No! Where are you going?”  
“I’m just-” The words catch in my throat as I see Ross looking up at me with a mixture of fear and pain, his eyes red and puffy. Kneeling down so I can look him in the eye, cupping his face, I lean my head forward. Brushing my lips against his I open my eyes to look at him. “I have to go get my phone, okay? It’s just in the kitchen there.”  
I point, watch him slowly turn away from me to look where I’m pointing, his grip tightening when he looks away. “O-Okay.” He nods, looking back at me.  
He slowly releases my hand, his eyes never leaving me as I walk into the kitchen and swipe my phone off the counter. Walking slowly back into the living room, trying to unlock my phone and pull up Trott’s number, I jump when Ross is not on the couch where I left him.   
“Ross?” I call, my stomach doing little flips. I briefly wonder if this is all a dream, that when I wake up I will be alone, everything a figment of my imagination. I let the breath I didn’t realize I was holding go with a woosh when Ross appears across the living room.   
“I needed to wipe my nose,” He says, looking down at the worn carpet.   
A grin pulls at my lips. “Glad you found the bathroom alright. I’m gonna call Trott, you can turn on the tv if you want.”  
He sits down on the couch, and I scroll through my contacts until I get to ‘Trottimus’ and hit call, surprised at the lack of calls or messages from him. Ross’ phone must be blowing up.   
“Hello?”  
“Hi, is Ross there?” Whether it was his name that he heard or just pure coincidence, but Ross looks up at me, smiling shyly before looking away.   
“Yea-”  
“Does he have a key to the house?” I frown slightly, but move the phone and ask Ross.  
“No, I kind of left in a hurry,” He smiles sheepishly at me. I relay that back to Trott.  
“Good. Tell him I’ll leave the key out, and if he wants to talk I’m here to listen.” I do, and we hang up not long after.   
I set my phone on the arm of the couch and start picking up the garbage on the table. “Sorry about the mess, people don’t really come to visit me.”  
He follows me into the kitchen. “Isn’t as bad as my room.”   
I laugh, taking the now full bin out and heading for the door. “Can you put another liner in the bin? They’re under the sink.”  
Opening the door and walking down the hallway to where the chute for garbage is, I make sure it makes its way to the bottom before heading back.  
I’m just about to reach for the doorknob when it flies open, Ross looking panicked. I quickly step forward, wrapping my arms around his waist and pushing him back into the room.   
“It’s fine, I’m not leaving. I had to take the garbage out,” I say, Ross clinging to the back of my shirt like a small child would to their mother.   
I rub a hand up and down his back, continuing to talk to him as he takes a couple deep breaths. “I-I’m sorry,” He says, taking a step back.   
“No, I didn’t tell you where I was going. I should have known.” He looks up at me, and we smile. “I have the Fox And The Hound, if you want to watch that.”   
(A/N Someone said Ross really liked Fox and the Hound, is that true or something I read?)  
His eyes light up. “Can we?” I grin, and he runs into the living room and plops down on the couch, smiling ear to ear like the the idiot he is.   
It doesn’t take me long to set the movie up, Ross fiddling with the tv while I set the movie up. Tossing the controller to Ross, I get up and walk down the hall to get blankets and change into some comfy-er clothes.   
Before I totally disappear though, I turn to tell Ross. “I’m gonna go change into some pajamas, I can probably find you some to wear if you want.”  
He shrugs, getting up and following me to my room. “I can just walk around in my boxers, just give me your blanket,” He walks over to my bed and wraps the duvet around himself.   
I laugh, digging through my tiny closet for some flannel pj bottoms that are a size too small. Throwing them behind me in the direction of Ross, I grab a fuzzier pair for myself. “Put those on, they should fit you.”  
I don’t think twice when I drop my trousers and put my new bottoms on, Ross smiling apologetically at me when I catch him staring.   
We go back and curl up together on the couch, Ross laying on my chest with my arm around him. He falls asleep part way through the movie, my own eyes struggling to stay open near the end of the film.  
I carefully maneuver Ross so he is laying on the couch with the duvet cocooning him.  
Not wanting to disturb him, but knowing the couch is super uncomfortable to sleep on, and that’s the only blanket in the house. Turning everything off, I gently shake Ross.   
“Hey, you gotta go to bed, mate. C’mon,” He slowly blinks his eyes open, looking at something behind me.   
“Al. .alright,” He mutters, his eyes closing before shooting open again. I put an arm around him and lead him into my room, where he is asleep before his head even hits the pillow.  
I make sure the blanket covers him before crawling in beside him, my arms going around his waist. It feels weird having someone else in my bed, but at the same time it feels normal.  
I fall asleep quickly, knowing this is how it should be.


End file.
